Since learning about Max's surgery being postponed, we have had some long days at home, with no plans (as we were supposed to be in Edmonton), and virtual isolation (to prevent anyone from getting sick). As a result, I have had so many random thoughts running through my mind over the last few days so I have decided to write some of them down. Sorry in advance for the somewhat lengthy post!
We had some of our closest friends come over the other night to pray for Max, Abbie and I, which was very nice. But although the words they spoke were very kind, optimistic and reassuring, nothing has really been able to prepare me for the moment when I will hand off my child to some medical professional who will literally have my son's life in his hands. I am supposed to be the rock for my family. I am supposed to tell them that everything will be ok and that I will take care of them. But I can't. I don't know what lies ahead and I have no control over it. Perhaps it's this lack of control that has left me feeling more like a pebble than a rock: completely helpless, unprepared and emotional.
But "God is in control," I am told and as much as I want to believe this, it requires me to relinquish control into His hands. And to do that, I have to make God the priority instead of myself or my circumstances. Easier said than done! I have to learn to trust His plan, specifically His plan for Max's life and one thing that is helping me to do this is the realization that God is a father too. In the same way that I am a father to Max, God cares about me, loves me, adores me, smiles at me and wants the best for me. I do ALL of these things for Max and in return, Max trusts me with his life every day. I must learn to unreservedly trust God in the same way that Max wholeheartedly trusts me.
Cam
Hi Cam, Abbie and dear little Max!
ReplyDeleteI am writing this from my hospital room in Vernon . I just want to say that Little Max has the most amazing and loving Mom and Dad that a little boy could ever want. I. Know that you leave tomorrow for Edmonton . Thank you so much for making us a part of this difficult journey. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you every minute of every day. we are still hoping to see you on Dec 21st. Love from Dad, Grandpa, ( Dacca) xxx
Hi Cam and Abbie,
ReplyDeleteWe have also had a trust journey this year with our youngest son, and will be praying that you know God's comfort and strength as you hand your little boy over. Praying this time will deepen the bond you share with each other and your knowledge of the Father.
Much love,
Catherine and Ryan
Praying for you all during the days ahead. God is in control even when our world feels out of control. God loves Max and is holding him in His very capable hands. May you know God's peace in this time.
ReplyDeleteKathy Seidler
Cam and Abbie....please know that Max and both of you are in our hearts and prayers today and in the coming weeks. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Jan, Wayne, Colin and Sean
From a wife and mom...the strongest you can be is recognizing that you're not strong enough to be the rock, but lead your wife and son and yield to the one who is. Thank you for sharing this Cam. Hold onto the truths that God is transforming YOUR heart with and it will be your strength for getting through Max's heart transformation. We are praying to the Father for surprising peace throughout the day today and tomorrow and that he would gift you with good things through this time. Love you all ~ Lynda
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